I am coming out of the tunnel of two, back to back, 1 am-8 am shifts at the ER. Night shifts can be very interesting or dreadfully slow as I reported earlier. So here is a list of my ER musings that help me pass the hours into dusk.
1) If part of your history includes the words, “months or weeks” you probably don’t have an emergency…but you will be charged like you do.
2) Unfortunately, CPR only works if you are standing above the animal when it decides to check out.
3) Raccoons are the devilishly adorable, villains of the animal world. And they can kill your dog.
4) I think Pit bulls are wonderful…however…cranky Pit bulls do far more damage to little animals than cranky Goldens. And we see a lot more cases involving “Pit bull munchings”. Sorry, but that is the cold, hard, truth.
5) Puncture wounds are like icebergs.
6) If it’s tasty it can probably kill a dog…chocolate, caffeine, onions, sugar-free gum (xylitol), grapes, etc.
7) As a partner to #6…rat/mouse poison tastes like peanut butter.
8) As a partner to #7…I know your dog looks fine, but trust us…they really are starting to die on the inside.
9) Dogs are not safe loose in the back of a truck bed. And yes, this does apply to your dog. The one that would never fall out. Really.
10) I know your dog would never bite me. He’s just growling so I can examine his teeth better.
11) When working the graveyard shift, should you pack a lunch? Dinner? Breakfast?
12) I miss seeing puppies and kittens. Apparently they only come in for vaccines.
13) We do not have a pet ambulance. I honestly wish we did. However, regardless of what you say on the phone, I will not be driving the 30 miles to your home to come get your dog.
14) I don’t like calling it the graveyard shift.
15) Even on the nights that nothing makes it…I still love my job.
2 comments:
No. 5 puzzles me. How are puncture wounds like icebergs? They are cold? They break off from bigger puncture wounds and sink cruise ships?
Most of the damage lies down below. :)
Post a Comment